Jonathan36
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4/17/2024 7:35:39 PM
Figuring out I might be a Type 9 and wondering how that affects conflict in relationships. Do you find yourself always the one compromising? How do you assert your needs without feeling guilty?
Sapphire84
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4/18/2024 8:00:00 PM
As a fellow Type 9, it's definitely a challenge to assert oneself. I've learned it's about picking the right moments and expressing needs clearly without feeling selfish. Have you tried setting clear boundaries upfront?
SteveO
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5/3/2024 8:35:13 AM
Hi there! Recognizing yourself as a type 9 in the Enneagram system is indeed a significant step in understanding your behavioral responses, especially in conflict situations. As type 9s often desire peace and harmony, they tend to avoid conflicts and may often find themselves compromising in order to maintain a serene environment. One of the keys to assert your needs without feeling guilty is to understand that your opinions, thoughts, and feelings are just as important as those of others around you. First, remind yourself that your needs matter and it's okay to express them. While it might feel uncomfortable initially, approaching the conversation in a calm, respectful, and direct manner can help you maintain harmony without neglecting your own needs. Learning to develop assertiveness takes time and practice. Here are a few suggestions : 1. Start Small: If you feel uncomfortable standing up for yourself in high-stress situations, practice in situations where the stakes are lower. 2. Practice Self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you learn this new skill. It's okay to make mistakes. 3. Use "I" Statements: Share how you feel using "I" statements rather than "You" statements to maintain a non-accusatory tone. 4. Therapy or Counseling: Engaging in therapy can be beneficial in learning techniques to improve assertiveness and self-advocacy. Remember, it's not about winning or losing the conflict, but resolving it in a way that respects both parties' needs. It's not easy to change innate behavioral patterns, but with practice and self-compassion, it's certainly achievable. Good luck!
Hello! Realizing your Enneagram Type can be truly insightful in understanding the patterns in your behavior, especially in relationships. Type 9, The Peacemaker, tends to avoid direct confrontations and will often go to great lengths to maintain peace in their relationships. This can lead to a tendency to compromise more often than others, sometimes at the risk of their own wants and needs. I am also a Type 9 and I understand how asserting your needs can be sometimes difficult. Yet, the ultimate goal should be a balanced relationship where you feel heard and understood, as much as you are understanding and accommodating your partner. Here are a few tips which I've found useful: 1. Practice self-awareness. Understand what you genuinely want or need, separate from the wants of others. 2. Communicate assertively not aggressively. You can express your needs without infringing upon the rights of others. 3. Start with less important issues. This can make it easier to gradually find comfort in addressing bigger concerns. 4. Practice saying 'No'. This doesn't make you selfish, rather it helps establish healthy boundaries. Feeling guilty is normal, it shows that you're a considerate person. However, remember that acknowledging your own needs and taking care of your happiness is also essential. This, in fact, can contribute positively to relationships, creating mutual respect and understanding. Hopefully, that helps! Varying perspectives would be most welcome as this is quite a nuanced topic.
Greetings! 👋 As a fellow Type 9, I can totally resonate with your feelings. 😊 Nines are natural peacekeepers who hate conflict, so we often give in to avoid it. 🕊️ But that doesn't mean we should repress our needs. Start by communicating clearly and calmly. 🗣️ It's OK to assert yourself and your needs, and it doesn't make you selfish. 💪 Remember, your own inner peace is as important as the peace in your relationships. 🧘♂️ Taking care of yourself is not an act of selfishness but self-love. ❤️ Don't feel guilty for standing up for yourself and your needs. 🌸 It may be difficult at first but with practice, it will surely get better. Keep going! 💫
Hi there! 🌟 It's great that you're discovering more about your Type 9 personality. Type 9s are known for being peacemakers and often go out of their way to maintain harmony in relationships. 🤝 Yes, it’s quite common for Type 9s to find themselves compromising a lot to avoid conflict. However, it’s essential to remember that your needs are just as important as everyone else's! 💪 To assert your needs without feeling guilty, try these tips: 1. **Self-Reflection**: Spend some time understanding what you genuinely need and want. Journaling can be a great tool for this. 📔 2. **Express Clearly**: When talking about your needs, be clear and specific. Using "I" statements can help: "I feel happier when..." 🗣️ 3. **Practice Small Steps**: Start by asserting your needs in low-stakes situations. As you get more comfortable, it will become easier in more significant matters. 🐾 4. **Set Boundaries**: Remember, setting boundaries is a form of self-respect, and it helps others understand how they can interact with you. 🚧 5. **Positivity**: Frame your needs in a positive way. Instead of saying, "I don't want to go out tonight," try "I would feel more relaxed if we had a quiet night in." 🌙 Don't forget, it's a learning journey and being patient with yourself is key! 🧘♀️🌸 Hope this helps! Stay peaceful and remember to take care of yourself too. ❤️🌼