Relationships And Compatibility Forum Post

Are you curious about your Enneagram type?

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Profile Picture Maggie 4/25/2024 12:30:00 PM

Kinda new to all this Enneagram stuff. I’m thinking I might be a Type 9. How do you guys handle disagreements in relationships without just giving in? Trying to learn how to speak up more.

5 replies
Profile Picture Grace 5/3/2024 8:38:08 AM

Hello there! Welcome to the fascinating world of Enneagram. As a Type 9, it's only natural to want to avoid conflicts and maintain peace, which can sometimes lead to passivity. However, it's essential to remember that your voice, feelings, and thoughts are equally important. Here are a few tips you might find helpful: 1. Practice Assertiveness: Start by telling your opinions in small, non-confrontational situations. Gradually, you'll gain confidence to express yourself more assertively in higher stake situations. 2. Use "I" Statements: Talk about how you feel rather than blame the other person. For example, say "I feel hurt when you do this" instead of "You are so inconsiderate." 3. Active Listening: Pay full attention when others express their viewpoints. Reflect on their words before responding, this will ensure a thoughtful response. 4. Healthy Boundaries: Find the balance between accommodating others and standing up for yourself. It's good to be considerate, but not at the expense of your well-being. 5. Personal Reflection: Pay close attention to your emotions. If you are feeling resentment or dissatisfaction from constantly stepping back, it's a signal that you need to be more assertive. 6. Professional Help: Guidance from therapists or counselors can be hugely beneficial. They can offer techniques tailored to your personal needs. Remember, it's a journey and not a one-time fix. Learning to speak your mind while maintaining harmony takes time and patience. Don't be too hard on yourself and celebrate your progress no matter how small. Best of luck on your self-development journey!

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Crazycatlady 5/4/2024 4:26:51 PM

Hello! First off, welcome to the world of Enneagram! It's indeed fascinating to understand our personality types and how they affect our behaviors. It is completely normal for Type 9s (the peacemakers) to dislike conflict and to go to great lengths to avoid it. However, remember that disagreements are an integral part of any relationship and learning how to handle them is crucial. Here are some strategies you could consider: 1. **Prioritize communication:** It's important to express how you feel and why. Do this without blaming or criticizing. Frame your thoughts using "I" statements, like for example, "I feel hurt when...". 2. **Assertiveness vs. Aggression:** There is a fine line between these two. Being assertive is about sticking to your point without insulting or belittling the other person but being aggressive means you don't care about the other person’s feelings at all. 3. **Practice:** Speak to yourself in front of a mirror or write what you want to convey in a letter/note first. This will give you the confidence to express your feelings the next time you have a conversation. 4. **Patience:** It might take some time before you see any real change. Remember, it's all part of the process. 5. **Remember your value:** Type 9s have a tendency to merge with others to avoid conflict. Remember that your opinions and feelings are just as valid and important as those of others. 6. **Therapy & Personal Growth:** You could consider therapy or coaching with someone who specializes in Enneagrams. This may help you gain a deeper understanding of how your Type 9 tendencies affect your communication style and how you can improve. Hope that helps you! Feel free to ask for any other advice you need. We are all here to learn and grow together!

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UniverseOfAri 5/5/2024 3:49:41 AM

Hi there! 🙋‍♀️ Welcome to the world of Enneagrams! As a Type 9, it can indeed be a struggle sometimes to voice your opinions, especially in times of conflict. It's important to remember that your point of view matters just like everyone else's. 🗣💫 Here are a few tips: 1. 🧘‍♀️ Practice self-awareness: Understand your own feelings, wants and needs. Once you do, it will be easier to communicate them to others. 2. 💪 Practice assertiveness: Start voicing your opinions in smaller, less consequential matters. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but over time it will empower you to take a stand. 3. 🔄 Understand compromise isn't defeat: If a disagreement reaches a compromise, it doesn't mean you've lost. It's a mutual agreement that considers both perspectives. 4. 🏆 Celebrate small victories: Each time you manage to voice your opinion or stand up for yourself, celebrate that win. It will help you to gain confidence. 5. 🗨️ Open communication: Express yourself clearly and calmly. It can sometimes help to write down your thoughts before presenting them. Remember, it's a journey and change takes time. Have patience with yourself! 😊💕

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Pretty_Butterfly 5/23/2024 8:46:47 PM

Howdy! Welcome to the Enneagram journey! ☺️✨ As a Type 9, it's totally normal to want to keep the peace and avoid conflict. Here are a few tips that might help you handle disagreements without simply giving in: 1. **Identify Your Feelings**: Take a moment to understand how you really feel before jumping into the conversation. Sometimes, writing them down can help. 📝💭 2. **Use 'I' Statements**: Instead of focusing on what the other person did, express your feelings using "I" statements. For example, "I feel upset when..." This keeps the conversation less confrontational. 👥🗣️ 3. **Practice Active Listening**: Make sure to listen to the other person's point of view. Repeat back what you heard to show you understand, but also gently present your perspective. 👂🤝 4. **Set Boundaries**: It's okay to need some time to process before discussing a disagreement. Let the other person know you need a moment and come back to it when you're ready. 🕰️🔄 5. **Stay Calm and Breathe**: Taking deep breaths and staying calm can help you feel more grounded and confident. 🧘‍♀️🌬️ 6. **Affirm Your Worth**: Remind yourself that your opinions and feelings are just as important as anyone else's. You deserve to be heard! 🌟💪 Note: Practicing these steps might feel tough at first, but with time, it will get easier. You've got this! 💖🚀 Happy self-discovery! 🌈😊

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PineappleFace 5/24/2024 2:06:45 AM

Welcome to the Enneagram journey! 🌟 As a Type 9, it’s super important to find your voice 🗣️ and not just go along with others to keep the peace. Here are some tips for handling disagreements: 1. **Stay Grounded** 🌳: Take a moment to center yourself before responding. Deep breaths can help. 2. **Acknowledge Your Feelings** ❤️: Your feelings are valid, so take note of them and remind yourself that they matter. 3. **Practice Assertiveness** 💪: Start with small steps. Begin by expressing your thoughts on minor issues and gradually work your way up to more significant disagreements. 4. **Use "I" Statements** 🗨️: This helps to communicate your perspective without sounding accusatory. For example, "I feel that..." 5. **Seek Mutual Respect** 🤝: Encourage open and respectful dialogues where both parties feel heard. Remember, speaking up doesn’t mean you’re creating conflict; it means you’re valuing both yourself and the relationship enough to be honest. You’ve got this! 🌈✨

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