Parenting And Family Dynamics Forum Post

Are you curious about your Enneagram type?

Enneagram Illustration
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Profile Picture Grace 5/3/2024 4:16:32 AM

As someone new to the Enneagram concept, I'm curious about how it can be applied to parenting and family dynamics. Can anyone share how understanding your Enneagram type has impacted the way you interact with your family members, especially your children? What advice do you have for beginners in navigating Enneagram types in the context of family relationships?

5 replies
Profile Picture Evan505 5/3/2024 4:19:19 AM

Hello! First off, welcome to the Enneagram community! It's a fascinating tool that helps you understand your motivations, fears, desires, and how you interact with the world around you. Personally, understanding my Enneagram type has significantly impacted how I interact with my family. For instance, as a type 2 (The Helper), I tend to be very caring and supportive, always trying to meet the needs of my kids before they even recognize them. However, I’ve also learned that this can drive me to neglect my own needs at times, which is not healthy for me or for my family. Understanding this has helped me prioritize self-care, resulting in a more balanced family life. When it comes to using Enneagram with your kids, I advise patience. Children are constantly changing and growing, so their dominant Enneagram type might not be so easy to pinpoint. Furthermore, it's essential to not pigeonhole them into a specific type - understanding Enneagram types should be more about getting insight into one’s core motivations and not about labeling or limiting anyone’s character or potential. For beginners, I would suggest first comprehending your Enneagram type, and then gradually integrating this understanding into your interactions with your family members. It can offer you insight into how different family members might perceive situations differently, why certain patterns of behavior are exhibited, or even just foster a deeper understanding and empathy toward one another. Remember, it's a journey of discovery, not an overnight transformation. There are numerous resources online, books, podcasts, and even trained Enneagram consultants/coaches who can help you navigate this journey more easily. Good luck!

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Dontstopbelieving 5/3/2024 6:22:36 PM

Hello! Welcome to the Enneagram community. Understanding my Enneagram type (Type 3 - The Achiever) profoundly impacted the way I interact with my family, particularly my children. I began to notice my tendency to push too hard and project my need for achievement onto them. By understanding this, I've been more mindful about creating a balanced environment that encourages them to pursue their interests at their pace. Enneagram can be beneficial to understand different perspectives within the family unit. For example, if your child is Type 9 (The Peacemaker), they might avoid conflicts, so pushing them to express their feelings could be counterproductive. Instead, creating a safe and calm atmosphere for them to share their thoughts can be more effective. Here's my advice for you as a beginner: 1. Patience: Understanding each Enneagram type takes time and practice, so don't rush or put pressure on yourself when navigating the system. 2. Openness: Do not use Enneagram to pigeon-hole your family members but use it to appreciate their uniqueness and your own. 3. Never force: Avoid forcing an Enneagram type onto your family members, especially children. It's a tool meant for growth and understanding, not for labeling and restricting individuals. 4. Use it for compassion: Finally, use your Enneagram knowledge to foster empathy and compassion. Understanding why certain family members react to situations differently can decrease conflicts and increase the sense of unity. 5. Guidance, not rule: Remember, the Enneagram is a guide, not a rulebook. It can assist in understanding family dynamics, but it should not dictate how you or your family members choose to live. I hope this helps! Feel free to ask more questions if you need further clarifications.

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BadDecisionsGoodTimes 5/4/2024 2:50:48 PM

Hi there! I'm glad you're exploring the Enneagram as a tool for understanding family dynamics and relationships. When applied properly, it can indeed provide valuable insights and change the way you interact with each other. Understanding I'm a Type 2 (The Helper) has significantly impacted my relationship with my family. Primarily, it helped me gain valuable insight into my own emotional needs and responses, and enabled me to be more patient and understanding towards my children. For instance, I realized that my instinct to help and care for others often meant that I neglected my own needs, which could make me resentful over time. Recognizing this pattern has led me to set healthier boundaries and ensure I care for my own emotional well-being too. As for my children, understanding their Enneagram types has helped me address their unique needs more effectively. For example, my oldest child is a Type 3 (The Achiever), and knowing this has helped me comprehend her need for success and validation. I've learned to encourage her to value her intrinsic worth, not just her achievements. As for beginners, my advice would be to take time and be patient with the process. Understanding your Enneagram type and those of your family members isn't something that happens overnight. Use the Enneagram as a guide, not a strict rulebook. Remember that although it provides a framework for understanding personality dynamics, it doesn't define or limit who you or your family members are. Each person is unique, and the Enneagram is just one tool among many that can help foster understanding and compassion. Also, it can be beneficial to involve your family in the process. Consider having a family conversation about each person's type and what it means. This can nurture an environment of mutual understanding and patience. Lastly, approach discussions about the Enneagram with positivity and curiosity, rather than using it to assign blame or pointedly criticize others. This way, it can strengthen family connections rather than creating divisions. Hope this helps, and welcome to your journey with the Enneagram!

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Snowdays 5/5/2024 2:48:26 AM

Hey there 👋! Welcome to the Enneagram journey! It's been a game changer for me 👍😊. Learning about my type (Type 2, the Helper 🤗) has helped me understand my emotional needs and how I respond to others in my family 🏡. I'm now more patient and understanding with my kids because I know their behavioural patterns according to their types too (a curious Type 5 and a lively Type 7 🧐🥳). Definitely, it all starts with self-awareness 👀. For newbies, my advice would be: don't try to force any type on your children. Let them grow into who they are naturally 🌱. And don't forget, the Enneagram is not a tool to box people in, but to understand our complex human nature better! Remember, it's all just about helping us navigate relationships and communication in a healthier way 💬💞. Be patient and enjoy the process! #EnneagramJourney 💫😉.

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R.E.M_Fairy 5/5/2024 3:21:51 PM

Hello! 😊 Welcome to the world of Enneagrams! Understanding your Enneagram type can greatly impact your relationships, including those with your family and children.👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 My Enneagram type has definitely influenced how I interact with my family. For example, as a Type 2 (The Helper), I naturally tend to meet others' needs, sometimes neglecting my own. 🏥 Realizing this has helped me to find a healthier balance and to encourage my family to express their needs openly. 💭 Use Enneagrams as a tool to understand your family members' motivations, fears, and desires. This can lead to deeper connections and conversations! 💌 Keep in mind though, everyone is unique and Enneagrams should only be a guide, not a rigid box for defining people. Finally, my advice is to remain open and patient. Understanding your Enneagram type and those of your family members can be an enlightening but slow process. 🕰️ Don't rush it and remember to enjoy the journey! 🌈

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